The Perks

So remember that one time when I was like "hey, I'm going to blog every day for 100 days straight!"? Remember how I only made it to day three? (Yes, I know. I even skipped day two.) Well, I've decided that I should try to redeem myself. However, I'm not going to set a goal for this project cause I know I won't follow through, I'm just going to try to ramble as frequently as I possibly can. What is on my mind today? Today what is on my mind is what an idiot I've been for the past few years. Explanation is as follows.
You see, the day I turned that magical age of 16, I assumed my entire life would change. I thought that with the beep of my alarm clock all of my wildest dreams would come true. Being the naive high school sophomore I was, I thought that when I drove myself to school and walked through hell's gate on that truly magical day I would be noticed. Surprise Russel: Nothing changed. Despite all of the effort I had put in, despite all of the makeup I put on and all of the hours of outfit selection I had gone through, I was still just me. You see, I had always admired the girls who could throw on something pink, bleach their hair blond and throw a rat's nest in it. This may seem like an odd statement (especially for those of you who know me) but it's true. You know why? Because those girls didn't have to do anything. All they had to do was flash those freshly bleached teeth and the world fell at their feet. teachers would excuse them from assignments that were manditory for the rest of us. Class mates worshiped them at the chance to be one of them. And what I thought was most important at the time: Boys would smother them with attention. They just had to sit there! Those girls had a date with a new boy every single weekend. Those girls got asked to every single dance. And those girls had every single person in that prison wrapped around their little fingers.
I guess I always had this stupid little fantasy in my head that when I turned 16 and could "legally" date that I would become one of those girls. I quickly discovered that I was wrong. I got nothing. I did my hair, I wore the cute close (that look WAY better in a size two, might I add) and I flashed my flashiest smile. I didn't get off the hook for any assignments. No one went out of their way to be my friend. And most importantly, I didn't get asked on any dates.
At this point you might be wondering what kind of an idiot would post something like this. Answer: the kind of idiot who actually learned something from her own idiot mistakes. My problem: I've been sitting here on my fat lazy butt just hoping someone would stumble across me. I always thought that I just had nothing to offer; that I was just somewhat useless. But you know what? I have no one to blame but myself. It's not that I don't have anything to offer, it's that I never show what I have to offer. Well, I guess you can't change the past, all you can do is change things for the future. So that is exactly what I've been doing. This year a small miracle has occurred. I actually talk... yes, I know that this will come as a shock to many (as if many actually read this) but I have gotten out there, broken out of my shell, and actually tried to get to know people for once in my life. By doing this I have learned just a few life lessons.
First and foremost, remember the girls I mentioned at the beginning of this story? There is no way in this world I would ever want to be one of those girls. I've realized that they really are trying. Too hard, in fact. I guess if I want the kind of guy who is going to "hit it and quit it" then maybe I should act like them. But let's face it, that's not me.
Second: Life is all about taking risks. You can sit around and wait your whole life for something spectacular to happen, but in the end all you'll do is just that-sit around and wait for something spectacular to happen. Grab the bull by the horns. Break a leg. Get out there and take a risk. Get shot down. It's all part of life. It's better to put it all on the line and be rejected than to sit around and wonder what could have happened.
Third: do the things that make you happy. I know this doesn't exactly have anything to do with the rest of this post, but in a way it does. In getting out there and trying new things I've realized that I actually like/am good at some things that AREN'T school. This year I've taken some time away from solely studying to join clubs and get involved. Heck I even went against everything I believe in and auditioned for a choir. Remember that try/rejection thing I mentioned? This audition could have been one of those experiences. Luckily that's only a could have, not a was. They actually liked me. I had talent, they recognized that, and they gave me a spot. Had I never took the chance no one ( including myself) would have known that I actually have skills!
Finally and possibly most importantly: I actually have a lot to offer. I may not be a size two, I may not be ridiculously smart, I may not have the prettiest face, nose, toes or anything else, but I do have some redeeming qualities.
I care about people. I see how people hurt and I feel their pain as if it were my own. I'll drop anything if it means I get to help a friend.
I know how to laugh and I also know how to make other people laugh.
I'm smart, dedicated, and driven. Success is the only option.
I have eyes the color of the sky after a rainstorm.
I have hair that "looks like freshly pulled honey taffy" and "feels like bunny fur". (Quotes courtesy of my Grandma and the random girl at EFY who stroked my head...)
I'm good at giving people advice and I love giving it.
I have a huge heart with enough room for everyone I meet.
So there you have it, boys and girls. This is me. I may not be what you want me to be, or even what I want myself to be. But at the end of the day this is who I am and that's all I can ever be. And if you give me a chance, you'll realize that's all you'd ever want me to be.

Remember that one time when I said I was going to blog for 100 days straight? Remember how I only made it to day three and I kinda sorta skipped day two? Well now it is time to redeem myself. I'm apologizing in advance for all of the useless ramblings and the picture vomit I'm about to post, but I need to get all of you caught up on my life!! So this one time I went to college. I kinda secretly loved it. Then I went home for a summer and then this other time I decided to go back. I was kind of nervous since I would have all new roommates (except Baby Dennis). My roommates last year were amazing and I didn't think I would ever find anything even close to them. But guess what! My new roommates are amazing. From here on out I will be telling you about my amazing adventures with these lovely ladies.

This is my beautiful roommate Jennie. Sometimes she has to take cool photos for photography and I get to be her model. She makes me pretty. :)

This is the photo she used for her project. They liked my freckles. I like my freckles

I'm thinking I should probably have Jennie do my makeup like this everyday, yes? Yes.

Just be glad I didn't put all of them on here. :)

This is what happens when me, Jennie and Rachel get a hold of a camera.

See, we can appear normal. We just choose not to.

We like to have sleepovers on my floor. 

We also like to have sleepovers in the living room. And watch Becoming Jane. We're still not friends, Jennie.

First home football game of the year! Yeehaw! Woot woot! 

We got a hold of the camera again after the football game. But look at our sweet action shots! In case you were curious, that landing hurt on my part. 

We did it!

Me, Jennie, and Kambree. I sorta love them.

Gettin ready for a hoedown! Welcome to Sanpete County. I'm not really sure what I was trying to lasso...

 

Probably the greatest picture ever taken. Right, Jennie?

 

 This is the cake my amazing friend Robyn made for me after I made it into the Arise choir. Complete with a sparkly 2 and a choir of sour patch kids!

I will hopefully be keeping you more updated on my life these days. Thank heavens for my photographer roommate, Jennie! Otherwise none of this would have been documented. Well, except for the cake. So far this year has been amazing. Mostly because of my roommates, but I like to think I've helped a little too. I've gotten more involved in activities such as clubs and choir and I spend hardly any time at the library (for those of you who know me that is a big deal). But don't worry, I'm still doing all of my homework and keeping up in my classes. I'm actually enjoying my life now and I wouldn't trade it for anything. :) 

Peace and Blessins! 

Day 3: Stalker Free

Dear World,
I would like to share a handy bit of information I just recently learned.

If a stranger gets your phone number, do not try to pursue any sort of relationship with him/her. 

I don't care if this person claims to be Mormon, Atheist, Catholic, Nigerian, Mexican, American, President, Emperor, or captain of his four square team, avoid him/her at ALL cost. Why am I rambling of such nonsense? Because I being a stupid, young high school student so many long years ago made a grave mistake. 

It was my Junior year. I was insecure, lonely, and incredibly stupid. One night I got a mysterious text message from a number I didn't know. Now, most people would have said "Sorry, wrong number!" (Texting Lingo: Sry wrng #) and left it at that. But no. Remember that part about me being 

                        lonely? 

I decided to make this strange new person one of my friends!
Now let's clarify a few things.
       1. He was only a year older than me
       2. He was on the seminary council
       3. He lived in Spanish Fork.

I knew people who knew him and had heard that he was dumb, but safe. At least I wasn't in immediate danger of murder, right?....

So here we are, three years later. I've dealt with his girl-like drama, listened to hours of him whining about how terrible his life is, and been through countless spells of him falling in love with me. You know what the funniest thing about this is? 

                    I've never met him.

Given that we live so close to each other, we've found ourselves in the same place at the same time and even caught glimpses of each other many a time. But circumstances have always kept us from having a face to face encounter. All I can say is thank the heavens. 

I know this is an odd thing to be suddenly bringing up after three long years, but today we reached a milestone in our relationship. 

     I ENDED IT.

Today I finally realized what an idiot I've been for the past three years. Today was the day that I put that drama queen in his place, and told him where to go. 

          Breaking point: His girlfriend didn't think she could trust me. So she wanted to talk to me and ask me a few questions, just to be safe. 

Now don't get me wrong, I like a crazy obsessive girlfriend just as much as the next gal, but really? Dude, she can babysit you if that's how you like it, but I'm not going to have any part in it. 

So here I sit alone on a Friday night blogging to, well...no one. I may not have anyone obsessively texting me, but at least I know I can sleep with both eyes closed

Stalker free.

A New Beginning

So up until now, as you all know, I've simply used this blog as a place to whine when I'm feeling slightly over dramatic. However, after a recent look at my good friend Sarah Bradshaw's blog, I have decided to follow in her footsteps. I'm going to start a 100 day challenge (I learned from your mistakes, Sar ;)). From now on I am going to use this blog to tell you something about my life, something I'm grateful for, some grand and exciting adventure I went on, or something else worthwhile. No more sappy crud!!! Yay! Alrighty, day one of the 100 day challenge.


Since this first post is some what of a milestone, I've decided to dedicate it to the fine lady who gave me the idea! This would be my good friend Sarah Michelle Bradshaw.

I had the opportunity to meet this beautiful young lady during the beginning of my college experience at Snow College. From the first second I met Sarah I knew she would make a difference in my life. Sarah is everything I always wanted to be. She is beautiful, smart, HILARIOUS, an amazing friend, spontaneous, outgoing, an amazing singer, and pretty much every other positive adjective in the book. There were so many times I would sit there and just wish I could be her. But you know what the best part about Sarah is? She showed me that I didn't have to be exactly like her to be someone amazing. Sarah showed me that I'm a pretty great person just the way I am. Sarah is also to blame for a tiny miracle. I'm still here. Without my good friend Sarah Bradshaw I believe 100%, without a doubt I would not be here. Sarah waited through hours of torture hearing me complain. I know it wasn't easy and I know a lot of it was probably scary. But thanks to my good friend Sarah that's all gone now! I made it through and I could not have done it without her. I know that I could never find enough words to thank Sarah or to describe just how wonderful she is, but I hope that this post has at least given you a little taste of both of those things. My friendship with Sarah is one that I know will NEVER end and I am so grateful for that. I love you, Sar!

I couldn't help but share this one. Oh goodness I love this girl. :)

Fired With Enthusiasm

So this one time, me and my roommate Amilia were trying to figure out this whole blogging thing and we kind of failed. But then you know what? We figured out some stuff and it was kinda cool... Profile picture/timezone change. Excellent. :)

Okay, LET'S BLOG!!

So this one time, me and my roommate Amilia decided that we should start spilling our guts out on the Internet. I thought this idea was Kind of Neat. Hence... So, Amilia has been kind of struggling a little bit... Don't worry, we'll get this down eventually. Do you want to hear a story? Sometimes I'm secretly called Spanky, and sometimes Amilia is secretly called Miles. So I'm pretty sure this should be called something cool like "The Great Blogging Adventures of Spanky and Miles". But this is cool too I guess. Sometimes, me and Milia have adventures in front of the bathroom mirror. We call these "Adventures from the Bathroom Mirror". It's cool. Someday we're going to tape it and put it on youtube. Don't worry, you'll all tune in. I promise. Also, we just decided that we're going to include a section in our Blergs called "Highlights from the Bathroom Mirror". Lucky you. It will be kinda like a premier for the next big motion picture. False. It will be exactly like a premier for the next big motion picture.